Civility…

Timmies, Tantrums & TSN Prospects:  Chronicles of a Serendipitous Puck Mummy

In my opinion, one of the hallmarks of a great lawyer is the ability to remain civil and respectful with opposing counsel.  The Canadian legal system is, by nature, generally adversarial.  And in such a system, the lawyer’s role is to dig deep and fight hard for their client.  A civil lawyer does exactly this, but is still able to step back from the battle of the file, remaining polite, cordial and respectful with the lawyer on the opposite side.  The uncivil lawyer cannot, believing somehow they are in a spartan like “battle til the death” duel which necessitates general unpleasantness both during and after the file battle.

As this is not a legal blog, I will not go on any further about the uncivil lawyer (although I have lots and lots of stories!).  Let me just say the lawyers I respect most are those who fight firmly and fairly for their clients, work hard, dig deep, are passionate about their positions, but still able to go for a drink with you when the day is done, letting the battle of the file disappear with yesterday.  They are civil.

I think the same principle extends to the hockey rink.  Great hockey players work hard, dig deep, do not back down from the puck but respect the opposing players and their commitment to the game.  Great players are able to remain civil to other players despite the adversarial nature of the game.

It is perhaps not as easy to show civility on a hockey rink as it might be in the legal world.  Many opposing players will not see or speak to each other after a game until weeks later when their teams meet to play another game.  That is why I firmly believe the handshake ritual at the end of each game is key to civility – it is the opportunity to “go for a drink” with your opponent (especially when you are under age…).  To contemplate not participating in the handshake ritual causes me to twitch – to actually not participate baffles my mind – it is just not civil!

Rewind to last night.  The one adult and nine-year hockey player living under my roof both independently reported to me that at the end of the night’s game (involving nine and ten-year olds), the coach from the opposing team WOULD NOT let his players shake hands.

Seriously?????!!!!!  I was baffled.  I was also a tad enraged.  The coach was, apparently, so annoyed with the referees, that he initially instructed his players not to go to the centre of the rink to shake hands at the end of the game.

It saddens me that this grownup, in such a position of power with our children (and likely his own), is settling this as an example of acceptable behaviour.  On a far more positive note, I am happy to report at least four players on this man’s team went to centre ice anyway to shake hands, despite their coach’s mis-guided direction.  Maybe they did not hear him.  But I prefer to think it was because they have figured out the concept of civility despite the absence of same from their grown-up coach.  One day they may make great lawyers!

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