Timmies, Tantrums & TSN Prospects: Chronicles of a Serendipitous Puck Mummy
Too much of a good thing can be, simply put, a bad thing. I thought I learned that lesson about 10 years ago following an all you can eat Tex-Mex buffet… bad night… Those who know me well know moderation is still a lesson I struggle with. And that is perhaps why I am so attuned to overindulgence in other people, more particularly my family. My spidey senses tingle when it comes to the amount of time spent playing and practicing hockey in my world.
Two week ago, a lovely smart talented university hockey player I have a lot of respect for told me he had not enjoyed playing hockey for several years now. Why? Because he had essentially overdosed on hockey for the 10+ years before that. But he was intelligent enough to realize that at this stage in his career, his hockey ability would ensure him a university education. So he continued to play. But he did not derive any pleasure from it. His confession made me sad – sad for him and sad for what might lie ahead for my children and their friends.
Make no mistake, hockey is a great game. Lifelong friendships are formed, valuable life lessons are taught, and great memories are created. But when the practice and play of hockey demand most of your non-school time, it is challenging to form other lifelong friendships, learn other valuable life lessons and create other great memories.
My son, an Atom player, has very little time to invest in anything other than hockey. At nine, he does not have enough life experience to consider whether this time committment is a bad or good thing. I do though.
In October, following 20 straight days of game, practices or dryland training, I suggested that making an early morning practice optional on a day off from school might be a good thing for these young people. To his credit, the coach totally agreed. At the early morning 7 am practice (following a game the previous night when the kids got home at 9pm), only TWO kids of the 16 on the team did not show up. Mine was one of the two. WHAT?!?!?!? The mama bear in me wondered if I was so far out in left field I was no longer even in the park.
Clearly, I cannot rage successfully against the institution of hockey. Right now, I take issue only with the all-encompassing nature of this sport. A nine-year old should be able to play soccer or basketball or take piano lessons or all of the above in addition to playing hockey without these activities dominating every minute of their lives (and their parents cause we are responsible for getting them to these activities). Unfortunately, the way the sport is currently organized, that doesn’t seem possible. This makes me sad and it also makes me cautious. We may think all this ice time is a great idea now, but give it a few years and let’s see how much our kids enjoy it then… My hope is that in our effort to make them the best hockey players they can be, we have not drummed out of them the pure enjoyment of the game. ’Cause that is definitely a possible outcome if we do not exercise caution on their behalf now.
Just sayin’….
Tara…well said!
You know, we recently moved into a neighbourhood that is rife with hockey families. And our kids don’t even own skates! The pressure here for our kids to play hockey is present, but because of the hockey culture, I am nervous. Kids are regularly taken out of school for hockey tournaments, and I am left wondering whether this is the right thing to do… I hear about kids practicing until 10:30 PM and then a full of school the next day, followed by practice that night and all I can see is how our lives would be consumed. Is there a way to balance, Tara? And, how did hockey become this all-important, all-consuming thing?
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Ahhh balance… I think we all struggle with that in so many aspects of our life. Which is perhaps why I am so mindful of trying to maintain some balance for my children when it comes to hockey. The sport has sooo many positives, as does any sport (I have heard similar stories with respect to struggling to balance the all encompassing time demands of competitive sports in soccer, baseketball, etc. so this is not an issue reserved only for hockey ) But too much of a good thing is not always a good thing… I will keep you posted on my efforts to ensure balance!
Walter Gretzky would agree with you and he had a hand in the Great One!
I agree with you. I’ve spent exactly one minute discovering your blog. I have a 4 year old just started in hockey, so I haven’t reached the pinnacle of madness that is hockey scheduling. I dread it. Hockey should be play. Children play. I love the concept, I think it’s better that kids be playing hockey rather than drinking out in someone’s field or in someone’s basement…but it shouldn’t become all-encompassing. Not only that, but it’s been proven that something like 1 in 25 000 kids who play hockey make it professionally. Kids who specialize in hockey don’t have any better odds at ‘making it’ than kids who play all sports.
Anyway….gotta go. Just had to say, you are right on the money.